월요일, 6월 20, 2005
Silence
This entry was meant to be a tribute to someone. A girl whom i did not know well, yet who managed to endear herself to me while she was still around. In fact, it was the first time this year that i met her again since more than a decade ago and i certainly did not expect that my second time would have been the
last time. She was 2 years younger than me, for Christ's sake. And her life was taken away from her forcefully, if i may add. Cos til now, i do not believe that she could have jumped of her own accord. So To the Person who did it, mark my words, u will go down with her somedae. So damn u.
I went to the wake. It was awfully devoid of relatives save for my mum n one or two aunts that the gal had. The rest was made up of her friends, her brother's friends n her sister's friends. Pathetic? No, i beg to differ. Even though the friends were all bengs n lians, they seemed truly solemn n respectful despite their age. Yes, i do not deny that my mum's cousin was what most pple would have termed as a 'lian'. Yet she was the most affable, candid n friendly girl i had ever known. N never forget. For She had a truly big heart n neva failed to chat pple up, tryin to make them feel less awkward. That was her. Always smiling.
I hope that is how she will be, whatever she is now.
Life is terribly short.
I spent one-fifth of a century wandering on this Earth. Did i come to this world to accomplish something? Was it happiness? Or was it true love? Nah, i shook my head. It should have been something of more significance. So what issit? I scratched my head n stared blankly ahead, at my pink n blue wall. It didnt give me any hints. Now im confounded. Maybe i just need some time to ponder. But do i have enough time? Thats how it is with most pple, isnt it. They come to this world, try to think what is their purpose for coming, but in the end, they die before they had enough time to think. So the burning question is: Will we ever know what we are supposed to know? I know im beating around the bush to bring my point across. N i doubt anyone would have understood what i am really saying. But its ok, i do not require pple to understand and agree with my thoughts. Cos like what angie says, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. We are living in a liberal era, arent we. So please do not get swayed by my idealist views of this otherwise, cold n unfeeling world. Confusion strikes me once again as i continue to type frantically away on the keyboard. I should stop expressing myself in a supposedly
cheem way. Cos now it sounds pretty fake to myself.
In any case, i should end on a slightly local manner in order to get myself understood. So wat i was tryin to sae above is that, puh-leease tell the person u like that u like her/him before she/he kicks the bucket lah. Understooded? Thankew. So die die also mus sae k? at least must try mah. At most get rejected only, wun die. Skin thick abit can le lor. Scurry it works leh, den u happy mah. If dun work, den paiseh, too bad lor. Not my prob le. Experience lah. Trust me, i have been thru this twice oredi. N for goodness' sake, what is so gd abt SPG's weblog?? Fine..guys are all sicko..
또 울어버렸다.. @ 7:16 PM